Exploding Corpses

Energy's up. Edwin's a rebel. We know he's a rebel without a cons He drives his motorcycle, he pops his collar. Yep, this is how I am. Yeah, he's just a renegade. Welcome to Scary Mystery Surprise, where we talk about scary things that surprised us around the Internet. I'm Edwin, I'm Michelle. So if you notice this episode, Michelle in the notes or in the disappointment thing that we have, this session doesn't have a title. Uh huh. I didn't give you any info on it. Oh, I didn't even notice that. It just has a date we're recording because this is gonna be an actual surprise for you, I guess. Oh. Okay, And just to set a little background, okay, just to add to the mystery of Scary Mystery Surprise, we're gonna make a scene. So actually it's just like a I don't know what you call these things in movies, but it's just like when you see something and it's just like and anyway, this is the mystery. So here's what I want you to imagine. You mean, a scene like like I see this scene. Okay, just a scene. So just you have to be very like visual. You need to like actually see this. Okay, we're setting the mood. Okay, Okay, I'm ready. It is a warm summer day in two thousand and seven in Florida. Okay. The camera zooms out of a condo, so imagine that, right, it's just kind of zooming out. Okay, it's like dollying or whatever technical term. Okay, okay, yeah, you can see other houses now, like it's just zooming out. You know. You can see the street okay, and there's a man with a cane barely walking along with a tiny dog. Okay. As a camera zooms out a little bit more, you hear a sudden boom splash. True. True, who's walking his dog turns around as much as he can because he's old. He scratches his butt and keeps chumming along the sidewalk. Wait to not look at the boom. He just scratches his button, keeps walking. Yeah okay, and then he just keeps walking and his dog is bored as hell, and then the camera fades out and that's it. And this scene okay, well, I hope that all ties together later. That's because normally a scene in a movie would tie to something else, But I don't know if we're tying that to anything else right now. Now fast forward to later in two thousand and eight. Okay, Michelle, you've been summoned to jury duty. Damn it all right, well what are we going to do? Right? You have to go? I mean, I guess and the case seems boring too, like once you get there and then you kind of start learning about it. It's basically an insurance company, State Farm. Oh my fucking civic duty. And it's this insurance in State Farm versus a person named Judy Rodrigo. This was the real case, right Palm Beach, Florida can look it up anyway. State Farm had offered a settlement to Judy, but she was sure that she would win, so she refused and she was like, we're going to court, and here is the case. I mean, it's very American response to that. Yeah, I'm like, oh, these French fries were hot, these French threads were hot, and I burnt my mouth. So I'm suing you that coffee case. Actually I read into it, and I'm like, hey, that actually was really hot coffee. I know, I read into that. Yeah, I did read into it too, and I was like, yeah, this is valid, but it led to a lot of other und valid cases. Yeah, jeez, I remember this. One guy in a wheelchair in San Jose used to go around and just sue businesses because they didn't have ramps. Honestly, genius. I mean, how do you even argue with that because they don't have a ramp. So but he would just go around suing like he suit his drag cleaners. It's like making the world a better place. Yep ah man. Anyway, So, Judy had purchased insurance for her home to cover personal property in the event of a quote named peril. I don't know what that means. It's just like vague. Yeah, it's like act of God, but like named peril. She thought she was never gonna need it. But it's Florida aka Heavens waiting room, so all sort of happened that. I didn't make that up. Don't give you credit for that. I've never heard that before, but I love it. I read an article and I'm like, is that means waiting funny? I don't know why it's so funny. Is it just so funny because it's like they're immediately like they're all waiting to die? Is that? It is? It just basically because you know, did I ever tell that when I used to work in Florida, I only met like two young people and I can count them too. Really. One of them helped me back my groceries. Yeah, uh huh, and the other worked at a bar. Everyone else was old. This is Cape canaveral pep Canavaro, Florida the whole time I was there, like it was, I was there for not that long two and a half months, three months something like that. But uh huh, Seriously, I never saw I only saw those two people anyway. So She's like, stuff happens here, so I'm going to get it. Then in two thousand and seven, back to the original scene. Oh yes, thousand and seven, Judy's condo neighbor died, okay, and the woman's body decomposed before it was discovered. Now here's where she thought the insurance would come in Handy, right, The bodily fluids infiltrated the walls and caused damage to Judy's units, so she filed a claim. However, the insurance company was like, no, we can't do that, and Judy was like, but it says right, here that you cover this kind of thing body juices and what was that kind of thing explosions? Oh god, Judy submitted in effidavid from a doctor who said that the internal contents of the neighbor's corpse explosively expanded and leaked. The judge concluded, by the way, like, after listening to pause for just a second, this is the kind of case I'd love to be on. This is not a boring insurance case, edlb. This is so juicy literally and figuratively. Oh though, anyway, continue. Eventually, after a lot of back and forth, the judge concluded the plain meaning of the term explosion does not include a decomposing bodies cells explosively expanding causing leakage of bodily fluids. That was a number of the jury. Mm hmm. What do you say should the insurance pay up? I mean, yes, absolutely, but doesn't qualify as an explosion. Oh that's tricky. Wow, you got it, because I mean that's the that was the debate. Is it an explosion? Yeah? Is it an explosion? I don't know if it counts as an explosion, but it is like damage to the unit, you know, like it's disgusting and obviously that should be under the clause of whatever your neighbors died. Any leaks, Yeah, bodily functions, Like what if like a sewer line exploded, would it have covered that? Like that's you know, like there's things there where it's like, you know, biohazard, it's biohazard stuff. Yeah, it's terrible. Yeah, either way, the judge ruled in state farms favor. Fuck poor lady. She should have taken that settlement. I know, I was like, morally, I was with her, but leeg, I don't think it's an explosion. I mean, yeah, except the old guy heard the explosion or whatever. Seem like the thing was for me, I was thinking, can a body actually explode? Right? And I thought of several things. I'm like, yeah, I think it can. I think it can too. But it's you know, it's one of those things where you hear it, Yeah it does, but does it really? And I started looking it up and then I found a bunch of a bunch of these cases where like they say that yeah, body can explode. This one was interesting, super short. But in twenty thirteen, a corpse exploded at Preston Mausoleum. Fluids were oozing through the seal that wasn't sealed properly, so I guess it wasn't a seal and drip down the granite of the I saw a picture of this, by the way, not of the actual body. Once it was cleaned up. Basically, the cap of the thing just flew off. Jesus. It's like you can tell that they cleaned up liquid and like stuff from the floor. Everybody, get the host. Could you imagine? Anyway? Mourners were there Michelle no oh no, and Gertrude blew up clean up Aisle two. You have someone leaking. Oh man. They did their best to clean up the smell and everything, but obviously the smell was still there. The visitors hated it, obviously, of course. But the summer insects they loved it. Oh yeah, like feast time, let's go. Also, it's Australia, so I'm sure the like massive, massive, crazy ass insects coming to eat. It's like bird sized mosquitoes just arriving for lunch. God, I don't know what's worse. I really don't know what's worse. Big old bottle sized flies just wiping their faces getting ready to you know how they always do that thing where they're just like rubbing their Oh oh oh, dude, I hate flies. I don't know if I told you that. I hate flies. Yeah, no, I hate flies too, They're so gross. Jeez. Anyway, they filed complaints with the state authorities, the Derabin or Derabin Council. But since then, the cemetery had another incident of leakage while they were reporting actually on this stuff. Yeah, they had. It. Turns out they had a whole thing. I mean I read into it. It doesn't really follow the theme here of our episode, but I mean they had basically like the government took it over, or like a city council or something took over the cemetery because they seized that area or they took it over basically, and they didn't let people that know how to manage just like a mausoleum area and all that stuff. So they just mismanaged and turned into a whole thing. But anyway, they said that everything was going to be okay and they were going to fix it and it was fine, and don't worry about it, stop reporting on it all that stuff. Yeah, don't tell anybody. Don't tell anybody. Uncle John blew up next to Ankertrude Anchor Trude and Uncle John terrible. Ah. But anyway, here's something you'll like. Michelle, and most people they know that I'm not a fan of royal stuff. You might like that stuff, but I mean I do sometimes. I decided to take the hit for this one, and I went to Royal dot UK to find out the history of William the Conqueror. Oh oh, you mean old royal stuff. Yeah, I'm all about that. I don't have any particular feeling about King Prince Charles or whatever the hell it is. I didn't even know that was the thing, King Charles, King Charles, Oh yeah, since the queen died. Yeah, so it's King Charles now wow. But whatever. Anyway, I mean, we'll be doing another funeral for him in like five years. So it's Michelle's predictions. Is it a prediction he has saucesage fingers. It's like that's like a predisposition of like heart disease or something. It's that bloating in the fingers. It's that weird bloating in the fingers. If you have sausage fingers, go get your heart checked. This is not medical advice, No, it is medical advice. Go get your heart checked please, so you don't die of a heart attack. I'm pretty sure there's a better technical name for it. Or is that it sausage fingers. I'm sure there's I mean, everyone knows what I'm talking about when I say sausage fingers. So if you've seen somebody with sausage fingers, you know, let them know, let them know. You're at miscarry mystery surprise. We care about your health, Yeah, we care about you. Yeah, go get checked out, Go get your heart checked. Yeah. Anyway, back to Gooey Bodies, Uzzi, gooey Bodies. So after where it says William the conqueror Michelle, there is this parenthesis thing that says R ten sixty six to ten eighty seven. Oh, I do know this? Yeah, what's r R? This is a sudden tribute question. Oh I don't know what AR means, but I do know this story. Oh about King William? You know about William? Yeah I do. I figured you see, this is why I remade her know, this is why you like this stuff. Yeah. Okay, so it feel fear to like add stuff or whatever. But this is the first time I ever read it. I mean, that's it's pretty good William. They say that he was an okay ruler as people generally liked him, I think, But eventually he stopped conquering because he died. What thank you for the history lesson Edwin. Thank you, Yeah, that's it history with Edward anyway. There are two main accounts of his death. One of them said that he was fighting so intensely out in the battlefield that he got sick and died, but one account by William of Malma's added that William the Conqueror's belly stuck out so much that when he was thrown onto the pummel of a saddle, his organs were ruptured. Even though he was carried off alive to Ruin row wuin ro o u e n the capitol, he was not gonna make it. So she made a will basically saying like this is gonna go to this person. It's gonna go this person's gonna take the throne. And anyway, it was just a whole family drama thing for a very long time after his death. Anyway, even though this is sad, this is just really funny. Like it sad, I mean, what is it? It's like time tragedy plus time equals comedy or something like that. I think, oh yeah, I guess we're allowed to laugh. I think at this point it's okay to laugh. But what happened next? Oh, man, the room where the king was laid was looted right away. His body was left lying naked on the floor because people were stealing stuff, so they even took his clothes and stuff like what. Anyway, Eventually, a knight that was passing by felt bad for him, so he was like, oh man, let's just let's get you fixed up. So he arranged for the body to get embalmed. They were gonna take him somewhere, and days were passing already, by the way, and the body was starting to show signs that it needed to get in the ground, like now. Anyway, a fire broke out in the town and they had more delays. Anyway, So just when they were getting everyone together to forgive William for the stuff he had done, because I guess that was a practice, right like, oh you know, he's dead now, like let everything go like a viewing. Yeah, yeah, they heard a voice saying that William had stolen the land he was gonna be laying in, so that couldn't happen, like if you stole this land from my father, you cannot be here Anyway. They argued for a bit and they paid him off. Like the story, I'm like, I have never heard this story before. I am like on a on a train. I am on it, like, tell me more it because it's like this might I'll be fiction because the end. Okay, yeah, I mean like there's part, like I'm assuming the part that it's going to tie it to everything that's real that happened. But I don't know anything else about what you're talking. I hope this because it doesn't be like a comedy thing, right, And I'm like is this real? Is this so much? That actually googled was William the Conquer real? Because I was like, is this a real story? Anyway? It turns out he was. Anyway, all this time, William's corpse is bloated, like he was just getting bloated. He wouldn't fit in the stone sarcophagus that had been made specifically for the occasion, so people did what they have to do, and they just started to shove them in there, like just push them and as there from this writing piece or this thing that I read this according to Orderic on. It's called Historia Eclestiastica, written by Benedictine monk and chronicler Orderic by Talis, who lived in Saint Evraald's monastery in Normandy. This is so interesting to me. I don't know anything about this, but anyway, this is what the quote said. Was it shoving them in there? Is that the swollen bowels burst and an intolerable stench assailed the nostrils of the bystanders and the whole crowd. Anyway, they rushed the ceremony to get out of there, right, but terrible. Now does this count as a body exploding? Yeah? I think it does. I think and equivoctly it does. They're just literally trying to make him explode by showing him in there. But yeah, but I mean, they waited pretty long to put him in that thing, and I for some reason I remembered that he might have been tall as well, so it's like he really didn't fit in that thing, and then he was bloated by the time he they shoved him in, and he exploded. You know, I thought that gases would escape like out your butt or your throat or like any other orifice. Yeah, you have like your eyeballs, your ears, your I mean, you'd think that, but I guess not. I guess not just blow up like a balloon and h Anyway, was this story true? Well, what I read was that back then people loved stories of guts and gore. I mean, that's kind of what I'm hoping people like to like making of this episode. But it's true, like we've all kind of had this fascination for that kind of thing. So the thing is, since back then, like writers wanted people to read their stuff like journalists. Now, they might have added that we don't know all of it happened, like, yeah, it's true, we don't know. I mean, it's in a but it's a good story him exploding after his death. It's pretty good. So so messed up. But anyway, so here is what we all want to know, right, how do you stop yourself from exploding after you die? Thank you? This is a question that keeps me up at night regularly. So I'm glad we're going to solve this today. Yeah, thank me later, watch this is going to solve everything. Vice Magazine or just Vice Now, spoke with Josh Slocum, director for a Thing that's basically like the consumer reports of funeral services and stuff, and asked why corpses explode, and his answer was pretty obvious, right, like you know, it's decomposing, like bacteria inside of you. Anyway, his answer was comparing everything to meat inside tupperware, which like basically heat and heat, amidity, bodily fluids and all that bacteria, Like they start becoming like they turned the tupperwar into a type of pressure cooker. And I don't know why that was so visual to me, just meat rotting in a thing. But I guess we are meat, right, technically, yes, we are just meat. Anyway, there's this whole The whole article is so cool because just like that question and answer type of art, like the article interview, so you can just skip to the question you want to see the answer to the ask all these questions like very very interesting stuff like what does it actually look like once the body's in there? And I didn't know this, but eventually the body becomes at This is what it says right here on the article is that it becomes a disgusting, chunky brown slurry. Ooh, and you mean corpse wax, As noted in one of our other episodes. Yeah, which can be turned into soaper candles. This is so nasty, but like, can you imagine slurry like wearing a suit. It's like the suit's left and it's just good, like as where the body was. Yeah, they say that that's actually what it looks like. I mean they move around the casket and like it moves, you know, so it kind of changes the shape of it. But like, imagine if it's just not move and it's just turning into liquid, that's what it would end up looking for. I know. Yeah, like a onion soup. Oh it's brown, you're right on as those creamy chunks. It took me a little bit to see that, like to just visualize and then they tasted it in the Yeah, we've all had onion soup, fortunately or unfortunately in some cases. I kind of like it, but now I don't know anymore. Yeah, I don't know. I always want to like it, but I never do. It's one of those things that I've tried multiple times and it just isn't for me. You know, sushi. I tried sushi multiple times before I liked it. Yeah, I mean I like sushi. I mean it took me a while there's like certain things where I'm like, you know, like lamb, I didn't eat I ate lamb in Ireland, but I don't eat lamb here, Like I really can't handle lamb most of the time. What about pickles? Did you like pickles when you first tried them? Yeah? I like pickles. Yeah you did it. Onions same thing, Yeah, onions are a little tricky. Liver is a thing I've tried multiple times. I love liver. Yeah, I love liver. It makes me feel like a normal person. I think I might be a little anemic, and so when I have like organ meat, I'm like feel good. Yeah, I'm like alive. It's like I've had enough fron in my body for what. Okay, I need to take a survey on liver, like if people like liver, because no, you don't look like the type of person that would like liver. You don't think that, I know. But it's so good. It's like I got it at you can get it at that place Musso and Franks where I sent you, uh huh, yeah, place you can get a plate of like liver as like a steak. I think I don't know. I think it comes as like there's something else that comes with but like just a big cow liver, and I had it divine. It was divine, bovine. I don't know. I'm afraid of bur no offense. I mean, I know liver. I know a lot of people like it, and that's why I've tried eating it multiple times. I get it, and I just can't. I just can't. And you know, my girlfriend and I always bring up the story of when I went to eat at you know, her grandma's house, and they gave me kui, which is like guinea pig traditional and Ecuador. They gave me the little foot, the little popping oh no, yeah, and then that same day they gave me liver. My girlfriend knows I don't like it, and she still served it. She still brought me the plate and because she forgots, I guess I was counting the bi I was swallowing the pieces whole, like the chunks. I was just like all right, rolling two three, and then like just go. I mean I can see how the texture, like it's a real particular texture. If you're not into that texture, it would be hell on earth, you know, like it just has powdery to me, like yeah, which it is like it's weird dense. It lingers. It's like it just gets in between the gums and the lip area and the skin or whatever. The flap bott which you call it the chik flap flaps. How did you eat the guinea pig foot? How are you supposed to eat the foot? I guess it's like it has like you know, like when you eat chicken feet or chicken chicken foot, you're not you just kind of like suck. I don't know, like I've never had a chicken foot or a guinea pig foot. It has a little bit of meat on it and you have to like chew on it. Oh, it's like that like the tiniest okay, so you know how a chicken has like the wing and like what I call the mini wing, like the wing. Yeah, so it's like that. It's kind of like that. It's kind of like that. It's kind of like a meat toothpick, that's what it is. And you know, I felt bad because it's like they give that to the guests. It's like a special thing or like here you go, here's yeah, and then they gave me like intestines after like hmmm. But that was the only time that I had three things like that all in one night, and it was terrible, and I was just really hungry after because it's I just couldn't. I felt like a test. It felt like a test you failed. I think they did it on purpose. And I chewed on that that little piece of what intestine stuff forever and it never created. It just kept going and getting stretched here and stretcher. Oh. I just imagine it being one long piece of intestine, like attached, and you've just been chewing it like spaghetti. You're just like doing it and it just keeps going and going, and you're just like no, but anyway, oh jeez, So back to this right after we're dead. You know, once we die, our bodies go through a bunch of stuff, but we don't We shouldn't care. We shouldn't care. Yeah, chemical changes. It's important though, to like prepare this stuff so we don't explode and make everyone else uncomfortable. So they asked the guy, like, what are you supposed to do? He said, basically, air circulation is the thing that you need, So like, just get a simple coffin that doesn't seal, and that's it. You'll be dehydrated properly and the worms will get you easier, more easily, I guess. But then it goes into like burping caskets, and I guess caskets burp and it's normal because the gases. It's just like like a tougher were. I just want to be burnt once I'm dead, on a big piere out in the open, like a viking. That's all I want. That's the way to do it. Or or I could be recycled. I'm fine with being recycled in the and turned into dirt. But I was reading that those people that want to like be put in the ground and then have a tree planted on them or whatever. Uh huh, it doesn't work because the body gives off too much No, because the body gives off too much heat when it's decomposing, so it would kill the tree that you'd plant. Just turn it back into dirt. Man, Like, I think that's the that's the way to go, Like just with dignity. Just get burnt, get thrown into the dirt, you're fed to whatever you turned into a candle or whatever you said. Get dumped in the ocean. Yeah, dumped in the ocean. I mean preferably, I'd like to be on a Viking boat that's set a light by a flaming arrow. You have to you'd have a whole boat made. Yeah, that's my burial reference. What a canoe work. Yeah, canoe would be fine, but I do need the flaming arrow to set it alight while I dripped out to sea and burn and returned to the earth. Just flip over, Jesus, like corpse washes up. It's like they're watching you and then a wave comes just spits you over like the canoo birds and you're just floating. Well, then just fill me with flaming arrows. For the love of God, Jesus, how much do I have to write this in my will? For the love of God, I just have to really stipulate. If the canoe turns over, let fly a Baker's dozen of flaming arrows in my corps. So we take care of this. That's all I'm saying. Oh man, Okay, So speaking of endings, that is of the episode, good segue flaming arrow to this episode. Yeah, sail away and turn to ash. That was beautiful. And when thank you for that beautiful eulogy for this episode. Our last wish is for you to leave a review and subscribe, please. What are we going to talk about next week, Michelle, I don't know, but I think it'll be a surprise. Yeah, all right, all right, bye guys, see ya,