Kids Say the Damndest Things

Action Action. Did you ever hear that song that weird? I love the night life. I've got to booget on the disco rah like she goes. She says, I want some act shoon like she says it like that. I didn't see that. You just take a photo. No, I just saw the thing go. I don't even have my hand on the keyboard. It said something. It sets aliens are trying to communicate with you at this moment. Please hold hold for transmission. No, we got to record an episode. We can't deal with aliens right now. Welcome to Scary Mystery Surprise, where we talk about scary things that surprised us around the internet. I'm Edwin, I'm Michelle. This thing was creepy to read. I'm pretty excited. I didn't know how we were going to do this as an episode, So this is an experiment. As we all know, children are born sensitive to the supernatural. You know, they stare into space a little bit more. They reach for things that are just like, what what are you reaching for? Which honestly really is the perfect way to freak your parents out. Cribcams or whatever super creepy stuff that I've seen. What are you reaching? For who's going to pick you up in the dark? Yeah? Who are you laughing at? But anyway, this is one of my favorite things. There is this legendary post from Reddit. It's over nine or ten years old and it has fourteen zero point three thousand comments and it's just titled parents have Reddit, what is the creepiest thing your young child has ever said to you? And it's posted originally by doctor hand Job, which I thought they use your name was hilarious and strange to be associated with something about parenting, but they might not be the original poster. Who knows, thank you doctor Hanjob. We owe this to Yeah, thank you doctor Hanjob of ten years ago. But this thread is one of my favorite things that you know, maybe we'll post the link or something, because you could spend like hours just going down this thread, like a week's long months, you know, you have enough content. It's such good, freaky stuff. And I was like, how do we do this as an episode? And Edwin and I talked about it and it was like, we pick our favorites, what if we double up on accident? We didn't know what to do, so I recruited some help from a true skeptic, My friend Zoe Klar. Oh yes, well it's working. Yes, oh god, just like when things work, it's just like so horny, you know, like when things is sure. You might know her from TikTok or co hosting her own comedy podcast, The Bad Boy Pod. Have you ever heard of the thread that's creepy things kids say to their parents? Have you ever read that thread? No? I haven't. We need someone to pick out five of the weirdest ones for each of us. Okay, so ten? Yeah, so ten. And then we thought it would be funny if someone else picked them out for us. And I was like, you know, Zoe's like a non believer. She's like, uh, it's true. I don't believe. Are these like ghosts or like there's something in the basement or just you know, like one of the classic ones is who's like a child holding their parents' face being like you're gonna die? Okay, okay, well I mean maybe the kid was planning on killing his parents, and that's not a psycho at all. Yeah, I'll send you the link and we just need ten of them and uh and and we'll probably use this as like a little intro to introduce who you are too. Okay, okay, I gotcha, gotchah. Yeah, well I can. I could read read it. I mean, I do it anyway. Usually it's creepy things children say. So you are like the weirdest one, the funniest one, spookiest one. All yeah, yeah, all of the above. Yeah, all of the above, Like find creepy, find funny, find all of it. Like it's yeah, it's a fun thread to read. Oh yeah, you got to be shocked by these children. I will send you that link over, sweet, I'll click it. She clicked it, and she picked out ten for us, and she set five to Edwin and five to me. Edwin and I have read our own, but we're going to share these creepy stories with each other for the first time today. Yep. We've been saving it. I know, we've been saving it so hard. It's true, like these oh, these threads, I just love it. I mean, do you believe in reincarnation, Edwin? I do, based on the stories that I've read, Yes, I would say happens. Yes, yeah, I think so too. And even I don't know, it's speculated that even like that light when you die, you see the light at the end of the tunnel, that that's actually just you being rebirthed out into the world, Like you're shooting right out of your mom's vagina. Right after you die, you're shooting out of your next mom's vagina. That's a beautiful way to put it. Yeah, thank you. It's very elegant and poetic. I think you just shot right out of your mom's vagina, fluids and all, like a water slide, and into your next life. But also, it's said that you retain the memories of your past life till you're about like three to five, So you're losing you have like memories of that time up until you're about five your new life finally settles in. So that's one of the speculative things about like why kids seem to know stuff that they're not supposed to know. Well, do you want to start or should I? Why could start? This is really creepy. Okay, this is one of the This is like a paragraph, super short paragraph, but this is what Zoe said. My kid's Catholic school is over one hundred years old. There's basements under the gym that's used for storage. I was subbing once and during recess, one of the kickballs goes down the stairs. A little girl was standing at top of the stairs yelling, just throw it up to me. I went over and asked who she was talking to, and she replied that big man down the stairs. I went down and there was nobody down there, and it was the only way in Oh. Now. I asked some of the other kids if they have seen the man before, and they said yes, but sister told the not to talk to him. I asked him to describe sister, and they described a nun. And there haven't been nuns at the school in over forty years. Jesus Christ, what that's like a whole playground of children being like, oh, yeah, sister, what is that? What do you just quit your job? Do you think? How would you explain that to a kid? I'd have to like wrap my own brain around it, where it's okay as long as sister's giving like sound advice, don't do anything crazy, listen to your own internal voice first, and then okay, don't talk to him. Don't talk to the man. If sister says no, I think the man obviously here sounds like somebody that's not not good, not a good entity or whatever. Yeah, but I think, like my investigative self would be like, can you draw a sister for me or whatever? Can you tell help me what other And that would make like a whole thing about it. Just interview them on their own. Yeah, you want you want info, you want info about sister, you want the facts, Like you'd go, Okay, this is what she looked like. Were there ready nuns that died at the school during this time? Is sister hortense? When was the first time you saw her? Does she look old? I would, I would try to verify that. That is smart, super creepy. But what I quit depends. It depends if you were already burnt out at your job and then you had that happen like this, Like they didn't give us a raise. Yeah, like they didn't give us a raise this year. I quit. I did not deal with the ghosts of a nun and a weird man in the basement. I'm just not. It's beyond my pay grade about it here. Yeah, man, you gotta pay you gotta pay them more. Yeah, pay your teachers. Oh, I guess this person was subbing, right, Oh, they were a sub I feel bad for subs. I don't know why that makes it more creepy. It's because she could disappear and no one would ever know. I guess because she's a soup. And then again, that gives you permission to just be weird. You know. I always had weird subs, like always. Oh yeah. One time we tricked the I'm saying nobody in her class spoke English. We lied, but they deserved it. That suff deserved it. Even though he was right that we did speak English. He was right. The way he said it, he was just mean. So we're like, we just doubled down on it, and he complained. He complained, but that was it, just like he was weird. I don't think why, don't think we ever saw him again. So here's another one that Zoe picked. While not something my own child has said, My younger cousin around five at the time, once drew a picture of a black monster looked up at me and said, he told me to draw this. He's coming for you. You better hide what I would hide? What imagine? Do you have an image of that by any chance? Or no? No, there's no image. Okay, you can tell it to go to hell. Your scary monster can't beat me. I'm your mom, I'm the scary monster. Oh I'm only scary monster here. I remember my teacher in third grade and second grade used to say that she had eyes in the back of her head. I believed it. Which what if one day she was on the like working on the chalkboard, and then they just blinked like away. The joy of having them like just blink open and then shut again, and it just looks like the back of her head. Just the scary that's a good idea. That's a good idea. Just get some fake eyes and cover them with your hair and then you're talking. All of a sudden, you're like, Oh, you don't believe me that I have eyes. I'm gonna show you, guys, for just one second. There it is, and that's it. Oh that would that would get me, That would get me. Teachers out there, please do that, Please do that. And then we want to hear how scared all those kids were. Record record. I just want to hear the screams. So sinister, so sinister. Do you want to give us another one? Yeah? This is short. It just says. When I was eight, I asked my mother what it was like to die, And when she told me she didn't know, I told her not to worry because I'd find out when I was twenty one. Oh. You know what I appreciate is that with all these stories, you just kind of see the parent being like, Okay, uh, that's pretty weird. I wonder if they made it past twenty one. We'll never know if they made it to twenty two? Did do you ever wonder Michelle? Like what? There was a sight that I used to go to when I was a kid. It was really sinister and dark, and it said when are you gonna die? Or something. It was like, oh, I think I vaguely remember it back in the E bombs world and it gave you like an estimate of when you die or something like that. Yeah, there was that site and it said how I was going to die and when and how? And it always stuck with me like what did it say. I don't I don't remember the exactly, but it stuck with me, like the way that it said it. It just said, you're driving in a car and you don't look to your whatever, and then that's it. Next thing you know, it's everything goes dark, just the way it said it, like yeah, you don't look and it's a super short sentence or two sentences and it's just like you don't look a suddenly everything goes dark and your your hands are the last to go cold and something like that. And it was just like so vivid that I was like, okay, no, thanks, I'm too said seat of a kid to read this. Yeah, And you would get a countdown, Michelle, you would get a countdown. When was your countdown? Don't I don't remember, but it said years on it, so that I was happy about that, so like so and so years and then he goes down to the second and it's ticking and you're like, this is taking it too far. Plus I was like what eight. Yeah, No, I'm discovering so many things to this show. Really, you could have saved yourself by never learning to drive, maybe never be in a car, never be in a car ever, which would be very hard in the city that we live in, very hard. I don't know, it's creepy. It's creepy. Thought about the question was like, do you ever wonder, like how you're gonna go? I don't know, it's just what's happening. What's happening? Our energy got so down. I don't know what happened. Okay, here's my next one, this is one about reincarnation, because we mentioned it earlier. One of the common things is really young children remembering past lives. I used to not buy that at all, but now I'm not sure. A kid up the block who's only five remembered a pass life where he claimed his house caught on fire and he died when he was a teenager. Sure enough, a little digging we found the story and he was able to tell us things that we could only find on the public library microfilm. What like what? I don't know, that's all it says, Oh, what a cliffhanger. That's it. It's just I don't know what. Else said he had secrets, He had teenage secrets from his previous life. Oh man, okay. This one has an image that was sen Zo. He's sent us an image accompanying this thing. It says, I walked past my four year old son's room. I noticed his back was to me and he had a paper bag over his head. Oh god, he slowly turned to face me. No, in a chilling voice, he said, I know you are looking at me. And then it says, I totally have to grab my camera and take a picture. And I have a picture now if I can for our listeners, this child has cut two round eyes and then just a weird smiling face. I mean it's just two holes within a half moon mouth. And he's in his pajama bottoms and a black T shirt, just sitting sitting across like it on his bed. If he's not possessed, I don't know who is. Yeah, yeah, I'm telling you kids, I don't know why people have. I mean, this thread should be given out for like parent planning, and here's this Reddit thread to make sure you know what is coming is that you're inviting a paranormal beacon into your home. So just be ready. Just when you get married in the Catholic Church, you have to go to school like marriage school or what's it and what it's called, like some sort of count slaggers. If they just gave this as like a packet, you know, when you're family planning, I just think maybe some people would have some thoughts. I think some second thoughts would be had, Like the textbook cover would be this little kid, this kid's image, Yes, that would exactly, that would be exactly it. It's like what to expect when you're expecting. And then that book and then that picture. Oh goodness, okay, so creepy. Still, I think it goes into the category of like, why wait, why are you doing this? But okay, whatever I can handle. List this isn't too scary, unlike this one. About a week after moving our two year old up into her own room, my wife and I were playing with her and she says, Cedric comes out to play with me when I go to bed. My wife asked her where he comes from, and she says, from over in the corner. I had recently walled off a lower section of the room slanted ceilings that used to have a creepy three foot tall door in it, and she was pointing right to where the door used to be. What, okay, Cedric likes to come out and play, telling you it reaches out point where you just is this a coincidence? I don't think. So. This is a compilation list of paranormal things that people don't even like. It becomes just a weird story that you tell, right, you'd never say it was paranormal. You'd be like, oh, yeah, she used to have an imaginary friend called Cedric when she was two years old. But also, it's creepy. I don't know you've ever heard little kids say or talk about their imaginary friends. But it's a weird experience because you don't know if they're playing around with you or if it's real. Like my little cousin, she used to say. She used to talk to herself a lot, uh like just she was an only child and she would go and she learned how to play by herself, playing her own toys, talking to herself, draw on her own and say what she was drawing, read out loud, like there's things that she used to do. At one point, she was just talking would look like into the corner of the room, but she was like really excitedly talking just like you know, and this and that, and then kind of waving her arms and talking. So I just jokingly said, who are you talking to? She said, oh, talking to and then she said a name. I forgot what name it was, and I was like, who's that? It's like him? And then she just pointed to like nothing, and I was like all right, and I just left and yeah, react, I imagine that's pretty much the standard reaction to every single one of these stories, just like all right, okay, okay, I'll see later. I'm gonna go grab my coffee. Yeah, and enjoy that conversation. I don't know why, but I found this on Scary Mommy, the mom blog. I guess it makes sense right for parenting. My coworker's four year old daughter always thought that the rattling of the water pipes and the kitchen cupboards were white wolves, and a sound always scared her. One day, she was sitting at the kitchen table and she said, Mom, the white wolves aren't bad. There are friends. Her mom encouraged the idea by saying, yes, the white wolves are protecting us. They are our friends. And then the daughter added in, there are friends, but not the man who crawls on the floor and stands by my bed. No, what is the world crawls on the floor? Oh no, oh God, that's so terrifying. That's so terrible. That would creep me out. That would creep me out. That gave me some chills. And it was such a good conversation. First, Yeah, there were friends. You don't need to be afraid. He's like, yeah, but not this. God. Now, that reminds me of when I was a little kid. I'd hear footsteps, like when I was getting ready for school. I'd hear footsteps on the roof and I'd run out of my room and I'd be like, what's going It's so scary, And then by the time an adult came back, they'd have stopped. And it was driving me crazy because it was every single morning, and everyone was gaslighting me, being like, what are you talking about. It's not happening. And then it turned out it was my dad's punching bag when he'd pull his pull the car out of the garage, because my room was over the garage, and so his punching bag would creak and it sounded like footsteps on the roof. But it took me years, and the fact that my whole family was so unsupportive about me hearing footsteps on the roof was you know, we still have some baggage. We still have some baggage about that. I don't know my parents do that. I don't know. I think I would. I would believe if your kid told you, hey, I just saw a ghost standing by this or whatever, would you believe them? I think so. I think so. I'd probably ask questions like you were saying earlier. I wouldn't be like, no, you didn't. I'd never do that, but I'd ask some questions and be like, oh, interesting, Because also I'd be like, is this ghost crawling on the floor and standing next to your because that's like a that's an I have to do something ghost. Like. A lot of these ghosts that we've talked about are like, oh, that's just weird information. That's fine. Okay, you're talking to Cedric at night, or you have to play with Cedric and I Okay, that's weird, but okay, you don't seem bothered by it, not a big deal. But the guy that crawls on the floor and stands by your bed, Like, as a parent, you'd be like, oh, I have to figure out what's going on, Like I really have to just another day being a parent, Just another day I gotta fight a ghost. Find some advice on mom blogs. Yeah, and mom blogs about fighting ghosts that are bothering her children. Typical. Typical. Okay, this is my final one. While changing my daughter in front of the open closet door, she kept looking around me and laughing, and I asked her what was so funny. She said, the man, to which I replied, we man. She then pointed at the closet and said the man with the snake neck. I turned around and nothing was there. I'm afraid to look into the history of the house to see if anyone hung themselves in the closet. At least she wasn't scared with the snake neck. The snake neck. See, that's another example of that's a weird thing to say. But I don't have to do anything about it, you know what I mean, Like, she doesn't have to like this mother doesn't have to do shit about the guy with the snake neck because she's not bothered by it. But what that would I mean? I definitely like, maybe lock that closet. I think maybe i'd lock that closet. And apparently the snake neck is funny. I guess he's funny, which I don't understand. And also it's interesting that she just guessed that it was someone who hung themselves. But I like to imagine the man with a snake neck as like a man in a suit with a snake neck, like maybe a snake in a suit. How long is it? How long is his neck by the way, like maybe arm's length, And he can go like this and the and the head comes in and he's and he does his little tongue. Okay, okay, so you imagine it the cool way. I imagined it, like his head was so tilted that it was just slanting down over his shoulder. Oh. Interesting, I guess I'm going more non human entity, which also is scary. It's definitely scary. I have an interesting way of imagining things. Michelle, Thank you. I appreciate it. Just a snake and a suit. Oh I skipped one one, two, one, two, three four five. Oh yeah, I skipped the mister Rand one. I would do it, do it? Okay? It says backstory time. When I was a kid, mister Rand used to come into my room four or five times a week. He talked to me and tell me about stuff and how he was killed in were World War two. See old mate Rand was a figment of my four year old imagination. Anyway, one day, when I was nine or so, mister Rand stopped showing up. Fast forward to about three years ago, and my son, who is about five at the time, oh no, falks out of his room one night at about eleven thirty and says, there's a man in his room. I flip out and run in his room and find nobody, to which he then says Rand said, you can't see him anymore, but he's okay. The kid's got his own imaginary mate called mister Rand. But the only chat once or twice a year. Oh that gave me chills. That gave me crazy chills. Oh that is one creepy story. I think Zoe did a pretty good job for being a non believer, you know what I mean. She picks some pretty good stories. I think she's lying. I think she is a believer. I think she at least finds it interesting. I think so too to a point, or at least she can humor me. She humors me on a lot of my whims, you know. And I was like, well, are you a believer after reading this post? It's pretty weird, right, And she's, yeah, it's weird it. We should take Zoe out on a ghost hunt, I know. Oh, we should take her out on a coat set just to try and convince her. And we never will. I guarantee you, she'll never. We could put a ghost right in front of her and she'd be like, it's a hallucination. Might be right, And she might be right. That's the thing. We might just be hallucinating. Who knows, it's true. Still makes me wonder if this is this mister rand one makes me wonder if it's a ghost like that showed up to him right and now, because he was like, oh I don't see mister randit anymore now, springing that message of okay, I'm still here. I'm all right. Just let him know. It's like chills, But then it's also like warm and fuzzy too, because it's I don't know, your ghost is still hanging out, your good ghost is still hanging out. Not like it's already a good story. It's already good story. I might come up with something based on a similar thing from this. This is such a cool creepy slash. Wow, does this really happen? Yeah? I love these that thread man, Yeah, I just think it's fascinating. I love it. I loved all the stories Zoe picked. Thank you Zoe for picking all those things. You are the best. Going a ghost hunt that'd be cool. I don't know if like listeners would be interested in it was actually going. I know, I can't tell listen if you'd want to hear us go on a ghost hunt which might result in nothing. I just want to say that because a lot of those shows make it look like they found something in every location that they've found, but they don't always do that. So Nope, Basically it could just be us in a location freaking out and freaking ourselves out with no evidence, nothing happening. So just be aware if you actually want that or not, think about it. We'll we're happy to do it, but think about it because we don't know how good podcasting it would be. We have no idea if it would be good podcast, good tape or not. It's just audios that were like, you, guys, you can't see this, but there's this huge ghost right in front of me right now. Too bad you can't hear I mean you can't see Um. Yeah, definitely, I mean I'm down. I'm down if the people want it, if the people speak and they want it, I'm glad to do it. Yeah, be sure to We even getting some good tips lately. Be sure to send us your ideas. We're putting them on the list. We don't know when those episodes will come out, but we are putting them on the list. So just because it doesn't come out right away doesn't mean we're not doing it. Just so yeah, let us let us know, I want to get a bunch more ideas we have getting those categories of there's places right, people suggest, recommend places, but there's also just weird creepy events that I think we're missing, like we need to Oh yeah, some more creepy events would be great. Ideally. I don't know about you, Michelle, but ideally what I like is like those you know, those like local type of creepy things that are just like they say that in this house in this town, mm hmmm, weird noise comes out and everybody's heard about it, and stuff like something that's like very community folk legend, community spooky legend, got it, something like that. Yeah, community spooky legend. That'd be cool. Even though I love scary places too, so I think if you find we find a scary place around Los Angeles, I think we'll just go. But anyway, little kids, man, little kids, they're creepy. They're just little weird little people. That's the best way to put it. They are weird little people, but creepy things. I don't know where they would learn that kind of thing. Yeah, it seems to be their own, their own brew, you know what I mean. It's like they get it. From somewhere other than here. It certainly seems like that, but they could just be getting it from TV. Yeah, book, the weird kid at school, the older kid, always the weird kid at school. It's telling stories that you're just like, something's wrong with this home life? All right, Well this was creepy to me because I'm around little kids often and they say they do say weird things, but usually they make up things like you ask them, hey, how old are you and they just say, I'm one hundred and twenty five thousand and eighty four, and it's just I'm thirty something and it's just like you're old. You just hear yours, like you know, it's little conversations like that. They did not hear it. They have no concept of time, which like good for them. Again, if you have any ideas for us, we're on Instagram at Scary Mystery Surprise. Don't forget a tap, follow please and leave us a review if you haven't already. Oh, so what are we gonna talk about next week? Edwin? I don't know, it'll be a surprise. I like that spin you put on it at this time. Oh a surprise. Ask your kids? Your kids now? Yeah, your kids will know. Actually, your kids wrote in and had the idea, so we'll be doing their rentea next week. Anyway, Bye guys, Bye,